The Sound of Settling
by juliashappyfish
Summary: You think she’s going to follow him and argue but she doesn’t. Instead, she looks at you. A tiny smile appears on her face and she says, “I’m glad you’re nothing like Derek.” You don’t know if it’s the worse thing she’s ever told you, or the best. NxC


**Author's Note: **This was immensely inspired by _ponderer_'s "The Great Pretender." I owe her for the unrelenting plot bunny that wouldn't disappear.

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**The Sound of Settling**

Sometimes, you think she's a bit oblivious. That despite her intelligence, her resourcefulness and her creativity, she seems to see right past what is so _painfully_ obvious to you.

It works to your advantage, though, so you aren't going to complain.

She finally shuts her book and smiles up at you. You _really_ have to start learning how to control your breathing because she affects you in phenomenally intense ways.

"You almost finished?" she says in that soft, lilting voice of hers. You haven't, but you say yes anyway. You pretend to go over a few more terms, but five minutes is about all you can last. When you close your own book, she snuggles up beside you.

"I'm so tired," she mumbles, resting her head on your shoulder. You kiss the top of her head and avoid her eyes. You're afraid she'll see right through you. Your eyes have a tendency of betraying you.

You've yet to tell her the extent of your feelings. You don't think she's quite ready for it. You blame _him_.

She groans exasperatedly as she presses her face into your chest. You hear what she says, but you try to dismiss it. "_Ugh_. I have to help Derek study. I can't believe mom is making me do it." Her head comes back up and she scowls. "He doesn't _deserve_ my help."

You agree, but you don't voice your thoughts. You've learned that however much Casey complains about her stepbrother, she gets _fantastically_ defensive when someone else does. You're loath to admit that Derek behaves the _exact_ same way.

You rub her back soothingly instead. Your heart does that little flutter thing when she looks back at you and smiles all sweet-and-honey. You can't believe how much of a sap she's turned you into.

Yet, you can't bring yourself to be angry at her.

She wraps her arms tightly around your torso and her face inches closer. "You okay?"

You haven't been okay since you've met her. "Yeah," you say instead and kiss her chastely on the lips. She deepens the kiss and you sigh into her mouth. You're at it for a few minutes until the school librarian interrupts you.

"The library is closing in fifteen minutes," she says sternly. Casey blushes adorably, but you're too preoccupied with your own thoughts to care about public decency.

Books are haphazardly shoved into bags and Casey lets her hair fall over her shoulders. You know staring is kind of rude, but you figure she'll forgive you.

She flushes when she notices your intent gaze.

She surprises you, though, when she leans up on her toes and presses her lips softly to yours. It was quick and brief and perfect.

You try to convince yourself that maybe this isn't as bad as you usually presume.

But you're unsuccessful when she complains about Derek again.

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You think she's blind.

Blind as in _ridiculously_ unaware when it comes to Derek. You say this because she completely misses the looks he sends her. He does it at school too. And not just any look. _No_, not the look he gives other girls when he flirts with them either. It's the look that _screams_, "I want to shove you against a wall and do wildly inappropriate things to you." And then hide her in his room so he could repeat it later.

She's surprised when she comes back from the bathroom and finds a cup of tea, just the way she likes it - two milks and half a sugar packet - waiting for her.

You also know exactly what she was going to order because she always orders the same thing when you come _here_. You can't even show it off because _he _knows it too.

"Make it quick, the girl at table four is checking me out," _he_ says self-importantly. Casey rolls her eyes, but simply says, "The usual."

He nods and turns to you. You give your order, and it's the very same thing you pick every other time you come to Smelly-Nelly's. You know he does it on purpose to _not remember_, but you no longer have the energy to be annoyed with it.

In fact, it didn't take you long before you realized Derek wasn't too fond of you. Your very first _real_ date with her had started off with Derek shooting daggers at you when you picked her up. You initially attributed it to brotherly protectiveness, but the longing emanating from him when he watched her walk down the stairs told you what you needed to know.

You talk as you eat your food but you can't help but sigh quietly when she huffs about Derek as he flirts with the girl at table four. "Why do you care?" you want to ask her. But you know the answer. And you know she'd deny it with fierce passion because _that's_ what she does.

What she _always_ does.

You let her pay for the bill at her insistence.

And Derek just had to make a comment. "Your boyfriend is not very gentleman-like," he says jokingly, but, you know there's more to it.

"_Shut up_, Derek," Casey retorts. "Who says the girl can't pay?"

"Isn't it written in the secret girl hand book or something? _Always make your boyfriend pay_." He takes the money but gives her back all her change even when she specifically asked for less.

She doesn't notice. "_Please_, like you know anything about the girl hand book. And I bet you don't even pay for all your dates."

"Of course, _I know_. I wouldn't be so popular with the female population if I didn't," he answers arrogantly. "And I do pay for every date, thank you very much."

He leaves after that and Casey huffs again. You think she's going to follow him and argue but she doesn't. Instead, she looks at you. A tiny smile appears on her face and she says, "I'm glad you're nothing like Derek."

You don't know if it's the worse thing she's ever told you, or the best.

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You think she's lying. You bury your head into her shoulder and exhale softly because even when she's repeatedly told you she loves you, you can't bring yourself to believe her. And it only amplifies your guilt because for the first time in your life, you're lying _naked_ next to her. In more ways than one.

While _you_ wouldn't rather be next to anyone else, you know she _would_. And it kills you because you love her _so goddamn much_. She's fully aware of this and it makes you wonder whether _that's_ the reason she slept with you in the first place.

You decide not to think about it. You're warm and temporarily happy, and with Casey, you can only bask in the moment for so long.

A month after you started having sex, she comes to you crying and tells you that she kissed _him_.

And cries some more. You stare at her frozen, wondering if this whole wretched mess is finally coming to an end. But when she begs for you to forgive her, you can't help yourself.

"I'm sorry," she sobs, her hands covering her face in shame. She repeats the words over and over and you've never seen her _so_ vulnerable. You even think you're more hurt by the sight of her falling apart than the fact that she _cheated_ on you.

You wrap your arms around her shoulders. Simply watching her would have been too humiliating for her. And though she might have deserved it, it would have been too much to bear. She keeps crying a considerable amount of time before she calms down.

"I'm so sorry, Noel," she says again. That's really all it takes; you forgive her.

The sex is better after that, and you finally start believing her when she says 'I love you.'

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You think she's settling. You think that maybe, _just maybe_, she'd be happier with _him_. You think she knows this too. You think she's afraid Derek will _hurt_ her. And she doesn't want to take the chance.

She stays with you instead because you'd tear down fields of trees before you'd ever hurt her.

You tell yourself that that makes you a good guy, but a little voice in your head tells you that, _no_, that makes you a _foolish_ guy.

Sometimes, late at night, after a one-sided tryst with Casey, you agree. She's not always there with you, even when, physically, she _is_.

But you've accepted a long time ago that Casey didn't mean _always_ when it comes to you. Derek already had the _always_.

And most of the time, _sometimes_ is enough for you.

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**Author's Note**: I know I've already used the expression "do wildly inappropriate things to you" in my other fic, but it was just so fitting here XD

This is my first second-person fic, and _yes_, it's Noel-centric. I actually _really_ like Noel. And he doesn't get enough attention! Anyway, this is meant to be more poetic and emotionally moving. I just hope it worked.


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